Tuesday, June 23, 2009

Surfing with the Alien: 6/22/09 Bargle

This thread on Pen and Paper Games got me thinking about my most hated RPG villains. I am hardly ever the player. This has pretty much been true throughout my entire gaming career. Whatever group I am in, I am probably the GM. My limited experience as a player doesn't leave me with a large rogue's gallery to pull from. In fact the only villain that really sticks out was an evil magic user that gut shotted my cleric with a magic missile and ran off. I pursued him back to his run down castle lair but I was paralyzed and, presumably, eaten by a carrion crawler. The elf in the party ran away.

After the cowardly, pointy eared archer returned to town he recruited new companions. After a brief discussion in the bar they decided never to go near that place again. In my new form, a dwarf, I would spend the next few months aiding the Duchy in securing its wild interior. I was offered a free trip to a tropical island and was told I could take a few of my friends along. It turned out to be a wild, feral place and all of my friends were eaten. When I returned to the Duchy I found out that my foe had resurfaced, Bargle was back!

Bargle had gone to work with the Black Eagle Barony, Duke Stephan's number one enemy. I sprang into action at once. Bargle must pay! I developed a clever plan. My new companions and I would sneak into Bargle's tower strong arm our way through the guards and dismember him for what he did to my previous character's solo adventure cleric. Sadly the plan was not clever, nor were we sneaky, nor were our arms so strong; in fact, we were the ones who were dismembered. We were captured, taken to the dungeon and Bargle personally sliced us to bits. I was not going to let a little thing like this stop me.

Enter the champion Granger, his warrior friend Viper, his spell slinging elf companion Firebird, the weird albino lizard dude Jocelyn that came from nowhere, and their faithful, and slightly tipsy cleric, Father Thaddius. A group forged to hunt Bargle. A team birth from the primordial soup of Bargle must die! Never before had any.... Is that a copy of second edition? Wait, I can play a ranger instead of just putting the letter G in front of the word “ranger” and making that my name. This is as rockin' as Appetite for Destruction!

I lost track of Bargle. I didn't see him in the Forgotten Realms, everybody was just a drow there anywhere. He never attacked us as we plied the space lanes with our crew of kender fighter pilots and bad ass hippo space marines. He never threw his hat into the ring during the War of the Lance. Dark Sun was not really the kind of place a yellow belly like that would hang out. When we passed through Mystara again there was a whole big world to explore, and frankly, I forgot to look for him. Things got a little weird after that, we went on a long strange trip. By the time we got back from Sigil we found that everything had changed, nothing was the same anymore, we could visit all the old worlds again in a whole new way.

So Bargle faded from memory. Oh sure there were rumors. He had burned and filleted a whole county of halflings. He was caught in a torrid affair with Warduke from the cartoon show. He had written Skills and Powers, and other evil things like that. But there was nothing concrete, and eventually I stopped thinking about him. And then, as the lights were going off on an era I saw his name again. There it was, Dungeon 150, the reason I had started down this path in the first place, Kill Bargle!

So at GenCon this year we are going to string the bastard up and chop him into little bits. I am not sure what form this adventure will take yet, it won't be the Dungeon module but I may draw from it. By rights it should be run with the Mentzer/Rules Cyclopedia rules, but those are out of print and the .pdfs I bought for the box sets won't print right. I will either use Labyrinth Lord or Savage Worlds to run the game. LL is really close rules wise, and Savage Worlds is just plain fun to play. Either way Bargle will die this August.
I didn't really do much net-surfing today. I was busy studying and I went to the gym. I also walked from the Collingswood PATCO station all the way to the game shop Natural 20 in Westmont. Turns out it isn't open on Mondays. Woops. I did get a bit of work done on the alien races for GURPS Traveller.

Not much else to report. I miss Mythos.

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